Happiness in Relationship #2

People should connect to other people. It is called a relationship. There are many different kinds of relationships such as friendships, religion relationship, romantic relationships, and family relationships. Does relationship only connect with people? No it does not. The relationship could be connection between people and animals or people and God. What is the most important relationship in human lives? There may a lot of different opinions. However, here is one thing that people should know. It is relationship with God. The bible said that true happiness is making relationship with God. How can people find happiness in God? The bible said that sacrificing, living by the word, and praying make people happier.

             Sacrificing makes people happier. What is important in relationship? It may be to understand other people. Also sacrificing includes that meaning too. People should know what sacrificing means. How can people feel happy when they sacrifice? Many people may not understand what that means. In the bible, Jesus was killed because of us. It was his sacrificing for us. Can any people die for other people who they do not even know? In the bible, “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Matthew 20:28). Actually the word “Serve” and “Sacrifice” are different, but people cannot serve without sacrificing. For Christians, the Jesus is a father. Just think about a family, the father is the leader of family, the most respectable person, and a person who influences to family members. However, he said that he did not want to be served. How could he find happiness in sacrificing? There is a story about sacrificing. There was a guy who worked at factory. He did not have well education and skills so he drank every day and he did not have a dream. People around him thought that he was a loser. One day he met a girl, and she always encouraged him every day. He realized something that he should not live like that for his wife, so he stared to change himself. He went to work like two hours earlier and then he cleaned the factory every day. A few years later, he became a manager of that factory and he boss said that the boss had watched him for a few years, and he thought the guy could take care of the factory more than anyone. So the boss decided it. Did the worker do it for him? I do not think so. He did it for other people. Was not he happy when he became a manager? Doing something that no one wants to do is not that easy, but if someone does it, he or she feel better and will get better result.

             Living by the word makes people feel happier. What is living by the word? It is actually changing value. In Ten Commandments, “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). It does not mean actual other God like a Buddha. It means not to worship an idol. Anything people like except The God could be idol such as money, people, and foods. Most people like money, and people think that if they have a lot of money, they will be happy or happier. The money could be their idol. Are people who have a lot of money really happy? They are not really happy because they always try to keep it what they have and they always think how to earn more money. Sometimes they do really bad things as killing people or breaking the law. The bible is the manual for human’s lives. If people live to state in bible, people will not fight or feel guilty. Actually it is not easy living by the word and people think that if they live following the bible, they cannot success in their lives. They are just afraid of unsuccessful, but they can feel it if they do it. The happiest thing is spreading the gospel and watching people who they took to church how to improve their faithful is very funny and it may make them to feel proud of themselves. They can feel parents’ feeling when they raise their children up.

             Praying to God will make people feel happy. Especially, praying for other people will make people happier. The God said, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” (Ephesians 6:18). It is important to pray for by self, but it is stated in the bible that people should pray for their neighbors and other people or people who they do not like. Before people pray for other people they truly believe in God and “with deep conviction” (Thessalonians 1:5). When people pray for other people, The God grants their wish or praying automatically. The God wants people live together like a family. For instance, after family members fight, do they never forgive others? No they forgive them and also they may think and take care of them as much as they can. The God wants people to be like that. If people live like that people do not have to fight, get angry, and hate other people. Also the God said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7). Do you know what it means? If people who want something, they should pray sincerely. Then he will give whatever they want to them as free. People like free stuff, and the God said that he would give whatever they want to them as a free. It may be awesome ever, and it makes people feel happier or the happiest.

             As I said above, the relationship makes people happy and essential in human lives. However, it is difficult and important. As I stated here, the relationship with the God is the most important. Just people follow whatever was stated in the bible, sacrifice for other people, and pray for neighbors and other people who are in bad situation. Then he will give everything to people even the heaven.

Happiness in Relationship

Tal Ben-Shahar notes on how love and sacrifice are two essential elements in happiness in relationships. Most of the times, I see this as a hard combination. Sacrificing something is hard enough and sometimes people may not appreciate the outcome of it. As being a Christian, I can relate to this with my relationship with God. As humans, it’s hard to make sacrifices in our lives. Recently, I was blessed with happiness that God has rewarded me. It was an amazing experience and it still makes me speechless. For the past years that I have been working at my part time job, I was always selfish with the hours that I worked. I had my mind set on making as much money as I can by working longer hours than normal part timers. Since I started taking more classes than usual, I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I didn’t what to do except to just pray. At Sunday services, my pastor has been recently explaining on happiness. Happiness is not a goal nor an achievement, but rather a gift. The pastor explained that if we sacrificed, God will fill that sacrifice with His gift, not too little of it or too much of it. I really couldn’t grasp the concept too well.

             The days were passing and I was sick and tired of everything. I couldn’t take it anymore and brought down my stubbornness. I actually cut back off a few hours and that meant losing some money. I was worried since I had to pay several expenses, but I still believed and prayed. Then it happened. My sisters in Korea emailed me how they would help me by giving me some money each month. It was weird how everything fell into place. My worries were gone and even though I was physically and mentally tired, I felt happy. That happiness gave me a push to not give up and an experience of the strong bond between me and God.

             However, in reality relationship between people is different in my opinion. There has to be balance of sacrifice and sharing between people. For example, my relationship with my girlfriend has lasted two years already. She was born here and I have only been here in America for about 4 to 5 years. Also we do have somewhat of an age gap. Despite the barriers, both of us made small sacrifices for each other. I think that’s why our relationship is still strong and growing. By making sacrifices, we tend to grow and learn to understand each other. We understand the people who we really are and accept our flaws and traits. Just by doing this, we both feel the happiness that we’ve been searching for, the happiness of building towards that.

INFJ?

I took a test which is called personality test and I got INFJ. What is INFJ? It is kinds of personal type. Who has a INFJ personal type has a carrer in counselor. I think it is right for me. Actually counselor listen to some one's problems and worrying about and then try to fix it or advice them how to solve that problems. I really like to do that. I usually listen to my friends problems and tell them something helpful to them. If the problem is solved, I feel so free and I feel like i did some important thing in their lives. However, it is not only for people. I like to fix stuff. I am majoring computer sicence. It is make progam and process it. If it has problem I really like to fix ti and then process it again.

Happiness in Workplace

Have can people enjoy or make themselves happy in a workplace? I think it is when people are able to work wherever and whatever they want. However, many people are not doing that and neither am I. What makes me happy in work? Before I find a solution, I should first know what makes me unhappy in a workplace. There are some things that make me unhappy such as working in order to survive and thinking it as a mandatory task. I think I can make myself happier if I thought this in another view.

I usually work in order to survive. I think that this is the most important thing. However, to change this situation, I’d have to know what I really want to do or what I like to do. For instance, I can acquire knowledge and experience for my future. I am currently working at a Korean market. I work in the office but sometimes I fix the cash registers, write up important documents, and I work like an engineer. I gain experience from fixing stuff. I think this makes me happy in work.

Furthermore, working feels like a mandatory task. If I think that I have to do it, I get stressed out and not work properly. In order to fix this feeling, I should make the most out of everything and stay positive. For instance, I feel sort of happy when I get my paycheck. I feel proud when I get paid for working so hard. Also by acquiring special skills from my current job, I can use it to put it on my resume.

These two are very similar, but what I emphasized here are the most important things that I have to remember. It will make me happy and increase operation efficiency.

Happiness in Education #2

Have you ever thought about yourself or your happiness? There is a Korean saying that “a genius can’t beat a hard worker, but the hard worker is defeated by a person who finds it delightful to work.” I think that people should try to be happy, and enjoy in whatever they do over his or her lifetime. Actually, I am doing exactly that right now. I think that there are several steps towards being happy in education and in also my life. I have to know who I am, what I like to do, and what I want to do in my future. Those are the basic kinds of steps to being happy and satisfied.

First of all, I should know who I am, which means what type of a person I am. I found out who I was a few years ago. Actually, it had taken so long time to figure out who I was and what I liked. I believe that I am a very thoughtful person. I usually think a lot before I do something, but I don’t act enough. I swear that I need to change this bad habit, but it is not that easy. I keep trying.  I think that taking on more actions rather than just doing nothing would improve my life. Also I like challenging myself. I really like to make something out of nothing and solving hard problems. While in the process of doing so, I can also think a lot. It gives me self satisfaction after accomplishing complex tasks. Therefore my major is computer science because I like the processes of programming. If something is wrong in a program, I would think about it and then fix it correctly.

After knowing who I am, I need to do my main tasks which are completing homework assignments and class work. Doing homework correctly is very important to being happy in class. Being an international student, the homework is not that easy. The homework assignments are usually reading a chapter of text or writing about something that I read. It is not that hard for most students, but I am an exception. I need to memorize a lot vocabulary words in order to speak English, and always keep mind in my grammar use. If I do my homework assignments correctly, I feel happy in class. In order to do so, I would read the textbook more carefully while jotting down notes to help better understand texts. By doing so, it’d give me confidence and reassurance. However, it takes long time because my reading is slower than other students who are not international students, so it can be bothersome sometimes. However, I try to follow this regimen as much as I can because I know it’d make me feel comfortable and happy in class.

Furthermore, I need to concentrate on class work. Before doing so, I’d need to prepare for class. Prepare what, you ask? Well first, I would review my homework from the night before and read the texts carefully again even if I have read it more than five times. Also I would try to memorize the key points. I find it to be very helpful during class. Sometimes the professors want to read the text during class and then discuss about it. Therefore, if I prepare myself for class beforehand by reviewing the textbook and homework, I know it would make me feel confident. However, I do not do it always follow this regiment. These days, I sort of changed it by studying in school rather than doing so at home. I wake up at 7 AM and then come to school by 9 AM. I go to library, and read the text book or study for one to two hours. When I do it, I feel happier because it is like I took a long to solve some really hard problem and finally I did it. I think the change of environment gave me more motivation and concentration.

             In order to concentrate during the classes, I try not to be stressed out at work. I work for more than 40 hours per week. Since I work long hours, honestly I do get stressed out, but I try to make the best out of it. If I work more than usual, I get a little more stressed out. That means I get tired which affects my studying in bad way. I cannot wake up on time and think properly. I get disappointed with myself and it creates a urge to quit my job. However, I think about the reasons why I need to work because I have to support myself. For instance, I have to make several payments such as, tuition, monthly car payments, and insurance. Also I need to have some pocket money. By not working, it’d make my life a whole lot easier, but I know have to do it. Looking on the positive side, I know that it’ll increase my responsibility and experience level for the future.

             Thus, I talked about what I try to do in order to be happy. After I stuck it out through the hard times, I am anticipating what the future has in store for me. There may be other ways that can make me feel happy. I think these that I have emphasized here are the more common and important steps that can control my feelings. I think that if I do these steps consistently, I will be happy in education and affect the rest of my lifetime. If I study hard and enjoy myself, I believe that it will help me get a decent job and future. Overall, I think the most important aspect to my life is to be self-satisfied.

Happiness in Education

            Are you happy in school? How do you feel while you’re in class? Do you know who you are? I ask these questions to myself. Knowing who I am is very important and it relates on getting jobs and in obtaining an education. Before making any decisions, I need to know I am. When I did acknowledge myself and I was able to get a sense of direction towards my goals in life. Here it is what I am currently doing to make myself happier in school and working my life into stages toward my goals.

            Actually, I found out who I was a few years ago. I believe that I am a very thoughtful person. I usually think a lot before I do something, but I don’t act enough. I needed to change this bad habit. I thought that taking on more actions rather than just doing nothing would improve my life. I like challenging myself. My hobbies are to make something out of nothing and fixing or solving hard problems. It gives me self satisfaction after accomplishing complex tasks. Therefore, my major is computer science because I like the process of programming. So if something is incorrect in a program, my job would be fixing it which requires great thinking skills.

            Classes can be hard when you don’t understand what’s going on. By doing my homework correctly, it makes me happier in classes. Being an international student, sometimes I don’t understand what we talk about in class and I feel terrible after class. By doing so, it gives me confidence. Usually when professors discuss the homework in the class, I feel reassured because I understand what’s going on. I feel happy and great all day long.

            Before classes start, I try to prepare for class work by reviewing my notes and homework. By doing so, I can work together in class with my fellow classmates and not fall behind. I am still trying to do it, but I honestly don’t do it every day. I know that it will make me feel comfortable and confident, but it gets kind of annoying. I have a tendency to get lazy and lose motivation. However, I am slowly working on changing myself.  

            I work hard, but I try not to stress out at work. I work more than 40 hours per week. Many professors recommended me to work less hours. Actually I would love to do that, but I have to support myself. I have to pay for my car, insurance, tuition, and have some pocket money. So, I try to find happiness at work. However, I can’t always be smiling or feel happy. Sometimes I get really tired, mad, stressed and annoyed. After a bad day at work, when I go to school the next day, I can’t concentrate in class which makes me feel so bad and unhappy.

            There may be other ways that can make me feel happy. I think these that I emphasized are the more common and important steps that can control my feelings. I think that if I do these steps consistently, I will be happy in education, affect my grades and the rest of my lifetime If I study and enjoy myself, I believe that it’ll help me get a decent job and future.

Synthetic happiness Vs Natural happiness

What is happiness? Have you ever thought about happiness deeply? I recently reviewed one of Daniel Gilbert’s, who is currently a professor at Harvard University, lectures. I also read an article “The Futile Pursuit of Happiness” written by Jon Gertner in the “New York Times”. These two talk about happiness as the main concept. Gilbert said that “There are two different kinds of happiness”. One of them is synthetic happiness and the other one is natural happiness. What is synthetic happiness and natural happiness?

Most people have experience of both types of happiness. Synthetic happiness is from your imaginations or predictions. For example, if you were to buy your own house, how would you feel? You may predict that it’d have a huge back yard, living room, a lot of rooms, a perfect view and then after a few years, the house’s profit should be higher. How does this affect you? I guess you’d be smiling at this bright future. Thus, something you imagine makes you happy and smile, Gilbert calls it synthetic happiness. We use our sensory systems to predict what will make us happy and what will not.

Natural happiness is unpredictable happiness. It can happen over time and at any time. For example, while you were walking on streets, you suddenly find a lottery ticket on the ground. You then take it, and realize you’ve won. How does this make you feel? It’d truly make you happier, wouldn’t it? Gilbert said in one of his lectures that natural happiness is “what you get when you get what you want.”

I have had both experiences through my life. When I think about my future it makes me happy. I usually envision myself becoming a famous person as a computer programmer. I imagine having dinner with Bill Gates, having a casual chat with Steve Jobs on phone and having a happy family while earning a lot of money. I am pretty sure that this is what makes me happy. So, it is one of my experiences of synthetic happiness in my life.

Also I have had different kinds of experiences. Last year I tried to buy a new car. However, it gave me a hard time because I had to check my background thoroughly for everything to be processed. It took a little bit of time. Finally I got a new car and I registered it with my name and not my father’s. It was the first time that I had my own car. It made me really happy. I felt like flying. This was my process of natural happiness.

So like the “New York Times” article title, is our journey really a futile process in pursuing our happiness? I believe that it’s not because there are many different things that make different people happy. Whether it’d be synthetic or natural, it’s still happiness. I don’t see any negative outcomes from both happiness.